Fill Collins
Member
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2025
- Messages
- 59
- Daps
- 73
I'm back in school and have night class mon-thur. I get to class a bit early one day and go to the bathroom…soon as I went in 
, I heard some fruit say this to another fruit, “-ooh suck your dick?”
I barged in mid-sentence and from his inflection it was obviously, “Do you want me to suck your dick?”. Except he pronounced it “deck” 
They just stopped and giggled!
I just did my business then used the bathroom and we all left
Me interrupting them nearly in flagrante had me thinking, how gay WAS that encounter? Am I gay? (I'm not!)
After a few hours of research I came up with the Harlem Quotient formula:
HQ = FG x Sg/C
FG: Free-Association Gap Scale, Sg: Situation Gravity, C: Context
ascending order scale up to ten:
The Free-Association Gap Scale (FAG): What exactly happened, based on the trust system, pick your number. Mine is SIX.
1. Accidentally bumping into another man within a dense crowd from the back or front
2. Accidentally bumping into another man within a line (queue for the UK brehs)
3. Bending over instead of kneeling
4. Consuming something phallic (shaped)
5. Free Space
6. Seeing anything non-Harlem in person
7. Seeing another man naked
8. Saying: Ooh, yummy, gorgeous, tea, hard, etc.
9. Possibly thinking your coworker is kind of cute, not handsome, but cute for a guy, almost like a woman, if y'all hung out after hours, had some drinks, edibles, who knows? What happens, happens…pause
10. Being in the same room with a non-fully clothed man
Situation Gravity (Sg): Avg. time for returning to Harlem borders in 60 seconds, straight men avg. 30 seconds. 1 implies you got tf out. Sg is ZERO.
0: Accidental
1: You were curious and encountered it
2: Lingered more than 30 seconds
3. One minute
4. Immediately after a minute
5. Past 7 minutes
Multiply to get your Faggotry (FG x Sg)
FAGGOTRY: 6 x 0 = 0
Divide by Context (C): This is where your Harlem citizenship comes into play after the act. Mine is ONE.
5: Post-nut clarity
4: Let it happen for a bit
3: You said “Pause”
2: Avoided after contact
1: Totally surprised
FG x Sg/C = 0/1 = 0.
Harlem Quotient (HQ): Your sum corresponds to these scores. I'm Heterosexual!
Harlem: 0
Heterosexual: 0.1-10
Metrosexual: 11-25
Fruit: 26-40
AIDS: 41-50
, I heard some fruit say this to another fruit, “-ooh suck your dick?”I barged in mid-sentence and from his inflection
it was obviously, “Do you want me to suck your dick?”. Except he pronounced it “deck” They just stopped and giggled!
I just did my business then used the bathroom and we all leftMe interrupting them nearly in flagrante had me thinking, how gay WAS that encounter? Am I gay? (I'm not!)
After a few hours of research I came up with the Harlem Quotient formula:
HQ = FG x Sg/C
FG: Free-Association Gap Scale, Sg: Situation Gravity, C: Context
ascending order scale up to ten:
The Free-Association Gap Scale (FAG): What exactly happened, based on the trust system, pick your number. Mine is SIX.1. Accidentally bumping into another man within a dense crowd from the back or front
2. Accidentally bumping into another man within a line (queue for the UK brehs)
3. Bending over instead of kneeling
4. Consuming something phallic (shaped)
5. Free Space
6. Seeing anything non-Harlem in person
7. Seeing another man naked
8. Saying: Ooh, yummy, gorgeous, tea, hard, etc.
9. Possibly thinking your coworker is kind of cute, not handsome, but cute for a guy, almost like a woman, if y'all hung out after hours, had some drinks, edibles, who knows? What happens, happens…pause
10. Being in the same room with a non-fully clothed man
Situation Gravity (Sg): Avg. time for returning to Harlem borders in 60 seconds, straight men avg. 30 seconds. 1 implies you got tf out. Sg is ZERO.0: Accidental
1: You were curious and encountered it
2: Lingered more than 30 seconds
3. One minute
4. Immediately after a minute
5. Past 7 minutes
Multiply to get your Faggotry (FG x Sg)
FAGGOTRY: 6 x 0 = 0
Divide by Context (C): This is where your Harlem citizenship comes into play after the act. Mine is ONE.
5: Post-nut clarity
4: Let it happen for a bit
3: You said “Pause”
2: Avoided after contact
1: Totally surprised
FG x Sg/C = 0/1 = 0.
Harlem Quotient (HQ): Your sum corresponds to these scores. I'm Heterosexual! Harlem: 0
Heterosexual: 0.1-10
Metrosexual: 11-25
Fruit: 26-40
AIDS: 41-50
